Darwin awards

Latest Darwin Awards

Nominee No. 1: [ San Jose Mercury News]:

An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girl friend's
windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing
a hole in his chest.


Nominee No. 2: [ Kalamazoo Gazette]:

James Burns, 34, a mechanic of Alamo , MI , was killed in March as he was trying
to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive
the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the
source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the
other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."


Nominee No. 3: [ Hickory Daily Record]:

Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton
, NC . Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached
for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged
when he drew it to his ear.


Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto ]:

Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto
skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his
death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto
Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the
buildings windows to visiting law students.
Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police
reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson , told the
Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of he
200-man association.


Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]:

Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent everal
years awaiting South Carolina 's electric chair on a murder conviction before having
his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell
attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.


Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]:

A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk , IN.
A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle-loader,
was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's nvestigators
said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about
11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that
had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when
the gunpowder ignited.


Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga , Ontario ]:

A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this
Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. "Stefan Macko, 55, was
standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred," said Inspector Darcy Honer
of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over
the balcony," Honer said.


Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [ Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:

Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a
tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy
Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday.
Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock , were
returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole
's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight
fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not vailable,
Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the
fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights
again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the
White River Bridge .

After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the
bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The
vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered
only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery
to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.

Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we
weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead," stated
Wallis.

"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first
for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened,"
said Snyder.

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia ( Poole 's wife) asked how many frogs
the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck? (Though Poole and allis
did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award
Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively remove himself
from the gene pool.